Tips, Tricks and Loads of Advice for a Chill Wedding Day!
Over the last month I have asked all the people, from seasoned wedding vendors to former brides and grooms, wedding guests, even my mom, about their weddings, their top regrets, best advice and of course their most and least favorite parts from their wedding days! From these rather extensive interviews, I have pulled together the most epic blog post for you; The soon to be wed, the one at the beginning of the planning journey, the one wondering what the actual F*ck you got yourself into…
Take a deep breathe. I have your back.
Let’s start with our former Brides and Grooms, and what they regretted most! We can learn a lot from mistakes y’all…
“My biggest regret was not getting a wedding coordinator!! From the first day we started planning I knew I needed help but didn’t want to spend the extra money. Things I learned after the fact: Coordinators can actually help you save money, they know all the vendors and will help you find the right people for you, and on your actual wedding day will deal with any drama that pops up. Drama will happen, hire the right people to help you. I ended up being a crisis counselor not a bride.”
As a wedding photographer I can tell you without question, the most important vendor for you to hire is a coordinator. Especially if you are having more than 25 guests. It becomes wildly stressful for you and your partner. And on your wedding day, you will be the one answering questions, directing other vendors and so on. You will not get a moment to relax and enjoy. Check out my FAVORITE vendor friends here!
“We invited people our parents wanted there. We didn’t know them, and it was uncomfortable. And now there are strangers in a lot of our reception photos…I wish we just told our parents NO!”
The rule my partner and I used for our guest list, that I have shared with all my couples: If the person doesn’t know you both, know you as a couple, they don’t get to come to your wedding. They day is about you, your love story, your life together. It is not about a parents long lost best friend getting to join in on the fun…
“Every anniversary I wish we had video.”
All I can say about this is, same!! I am a full-time wedding photographer, I love still imagery, but damn…I wish I had video of my grandma at my wedding. I wish I could hear the laughter from the day. This is hands down my biggest regret as well. I get it, it is expensive to have both a photographer and videographer at your wedding. But to be honest, 10 years from your wedding, the dress won’t really matter anymore, the center pieces won’t really matter anymore, but the images and the videos will matter so much. They will be what you cherish forever.
My Favorite Videographers are on my vendor friend page!
“I wish we had eloped!!”
Honestly, if this crosses your mind seriously, DO IT!! Do not have a large wedding because you think you need to. You do not. Elopements can be so much more than a courthouse!! Trust me…Or just check this out!
“We had a friend photograph our wedding. It was not great”
I obviously have feelings about this. I understand wanting to have someone you know capture your day. But it’s probably best to find a professional wedding photographer who you click with! Interview several photographers. Ask to see full galleries, ask to have coffee, seriously get to know them! I spend the whole day with my couples. They see me more than any friends or family on wedding day. It is so important to have someone you trust and are comfortable with. I promise you can find these qualities in a professional photographer! Want to know more about me?
Okay! Now let’s get into our former brides and grooms’ FAVORITE parts of their wedding days!
“I was unsure of the golden hour photos, it seemed weird to leave our reception for 30 minutes mid party…but they were AMAZING!! It gave us time to hang out just the two of us, it gave us a moment to reflect on the day so far, and to be honest, the only photos we printed were from our golden hour photos”
I agree with this fully and completely!!
“The DANCING!!! We had so much fun dancing the night away! Hire a great DJ and party! You planned a crazy day, you got married, it’s worth the party!!”
10/10 recommend a DJ!! The party is the time to really have carefree fun!
“Our photographer and planner made sure we had time alone. It was wonderful!”
Believe it or not, you need to actually schedule alone time! Your coordinator and me, your photographer will help you! I have been called bridal security, as I blocked the door so my brides could get a few minutes alone LOL
And The part I have been so excited to share!! Some top-level tips from the industry’s best!!
“If you want to have a dip at the end of the aisle, PRACTICE!!! You do not need to dip, but if you really want to please practice, or you will fall! I have seen it with my own eyes, a few times”
“Hire vendors (coordinators, photographers, videographers, DJ’s) who align with your vision, your views and values, your personality! There are a lot of vendors out here, we are all different, have different strengths and have different styles! Don’t settle, a good vendor will also let you know if they don’t think they are the right fit and will have suggestions for you. You are spending a lot of time with these people, so you need to genuinely enjoy their company”
“If you are getting married in the summer in California, plan for excessive heat, have cooling plans. Hydration stations, fans and coolers. A mini fan tucked in your bridal bouquet is a huge help! And if possible, plan your ceremony for after peek heat hours!!”
“A lot of guests really do not care about favors. Instead, spend that money on a second photographer or extra photo coverage and offer a portrait set up for your guests! They are all dressed up, let them have some professional photos, that are higher quality than a photobooth. Guests love it, and you aren’t spending money on something people will throw away!”
“You need to EAT! Make sure you have time to actually eat. Food in the get ready rooms is critical. If you are worried about finding uninterrupted time to eat, talk to your coordinator. We will make sure you are fed. You will not be sad you ate! You will be very sad you didn’t at the end of the night LOL”
“We love dogs at weddings, just make sure you have a human you and your dog trusts to be in charge of them all day. And maybe make plans to have your furry family leave the reception before the party really gets going.”
And finally, my tokens of knowledge…
Vendors like photographers and coordinators and videographers book out a year in advanced at times because we can only book one wedding a day, and some only take on a few weddings a month. It is not because we are divas.
Your wedding is your day. There are no “must do traditions” or “must have Pinterest trends” you can’t cut! Do not do a single thing you feel like you “need” to do. Only do what you want, even if others will think it’s weird!
It is a wedding not a photoshoot! Do not let styled shoots on the internet make you feel bad about how things should look. Your wedding will be wonderful! And your photographer will capture it.
If you want a lot of candid photos together you need to be together! I know this sounds silly. But so many couples ask me to get candid’s of them throughout the evening, and then they separate at the reception, never standing next to each other again. Hold hands, greet guests together, be together! It is that simple.
It is okay to not have a wedding party.
It is okay to not invite people who do not bring you love and joy.
If you want a lot of photos with your wedding party and guests, or a lot of romantic images of you and your partner, please, let’s make sure we have time in the day to accomplish this! I cannot get photos of a larger wedding party, with several combinations of people in 10 minutes. Let's talk about what you want and create a reasonable timeline (with the help of your coordinator) to get all of the images you want, without feeling rushed!